Steel Panther – Heavy Metal Rules (Album Review)

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Ebony Story

STEEL PANTHER – Heavy Metal Rules
Released: September 27^th, 2019

STEEL PANTHER Lineup:

Michael Starr | Lead Vocals
Satchel | Lead Guitar
Lexxi Foxx | Bass Guitar
Stix Zadinia | Drums

STEEL PANTHER online:

We know Steel Panther to be a hilarious, raunchy, tongue in cheek kind of band. They have actual musical talent on top of that and their content is something you either really love or really hate. Heavy Metal Rules is their fifth offering and it’s everything you’ve come to expect from Steel Panther.

The album opens with ‘Zebraman’ which is audio taken from the classic film Heavy Metal Parking Lot, and then we’re instantly hit by their hilarious single ‘All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)’ which is an anthem for self-love and having a positive self-image. You might have to listen to it a few times before you get it, but it has a great singalong chorus that perhaps you shouldn’t sing in public.

‘Let’s Get High Tonight’ will fulfil all your guitar needs, it has a rocking opening and just doesn’t stop throughout. But the winning song on the entire album has to be ‘Always Gonna Be A Ho’. It’s a bit slower, more of a ballad style song, with clever lyrics and just an incredibly good chorus. I can see people singing this song in crowds while they wait for bands. Get rid of Darryl Braithwaite’s ‘Horses’ and bring this one in instead.

The next two songs sort of fade into the background, sure they’re good, but we’ve seen it all before. ‘I’m Not Your Bitch’ and ‘Fuck Everybody’ are just classic Steel Panther songs. But ‘Heavy Metal Rules’ throws you completely. With a title like that I’d hoped for an actual heavy song but it’s more of an appreciation song rather than dipping into the heavy metal genre. It does have a decent guitar solo though, but then again all of Satchel’s guitar solos are impressive.

‘Sneaky Little Bitch’ and ‘Gods Of Pussy’ are more of the same cookie-cutter songs that you’ve come to expect (and still kind of love), but the last song on Heavy Metal Rules is at least a decent closer. ‘I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling’ is soft, melodic and really shows off Michael Starr’s vocals.

Honestly, every song kind of sounds the same. They’re all anthemic, with a catchy chorus and scandalous lyrics, and of course some killer riffs. This is not a terrible album by all means, it just doesn’t have as much variation as one might hope. Individually, each song is great; they’re well written and they showcase great talent. This is ultimately a Steel Panther album though, and they’ve given you raunchy lyrics and great riffs just as they always do.