What actually happens at a Nickelback concert…
Ok stop with the angry stares for a second, this is more of an educational piece rather than a promotion of Nickelback‘s upcoming East Coast Australian shows next year with Bad Wolves, which we are probably less excited for than you can imagine. But a few years ago when I was working in commercial radio as a breakfast host, I had endured 7 years of playing Chad Kroeger and co. on a daily basis and there was nothing I could do or say about it.
Over time I formed an opinion on the band which still stands to this day: they’re not very good musicians as a lot of their songs were replicas of each other and their most popular radio releases (e.g. ‘Photograph‘, ‘Rockstar‘, ‘Never Gonna Be Alone‘, ‘Someday‘ etc) which all, to me, sounded the same. Now during an interview I did with the Paddle Pop Lion himself, Chad, he played up his band’s criticism and blamed radio stations and presenters for giving them the airplay which resulted in their popularity. He made a valid point and we had a good laugh about it all at his expense, and, he took it like a champ, whilst once again giving it straight back to us.
It was a great chat and I wanted to see the guys play live to see if my opinion could be swayed, maybe they sound better live!? Maybe the radio stuff is shit compared to their other songs!? Either way I took one for the team and went along to their 2015 Australian Tour in Brisbane (for free of course, there was no way I was giving them any of my money) and the end result is as follows…
Apologies for the single posts, this was done in a time before twitter threads existed
I'm dead serious about being at Nickelback tonight. Who am I? #BrownyGoesToNickelback pic.twitter.com/D7WjRFYTUu
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
So Chad Kroeger has a glittery guitar… I'm judging you Kroeger #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Where's Avril? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad just said he wants to suck a big bag of dicks… true story! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Well here's Photograph…. #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Update: there was no "Look at this Graph" rendition… #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
After every song Chad explains something about the next song they play. Its like he's justifying why they're playing #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Oh hey they're playing Hero from Spider-Man now. Needs more Toby Maguire! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
They've just started drinking now. And Chad just encouraged us all to drink to enjoy their music. His words! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad seems like he's drunk. Like really really drunk. There's a few passive aggressive comments between band mates #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
I know way too many words to their songs. It scares me. Damn you breakfast radio #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Sooooo many excited mums with tuckshop lady arms dancing on the big screen #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad is comparing fellow band member Tim to Timmy from South Park. He's like the drunk uncle giving a wedding speech #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad dedicated Far Away to all the ladies… can I dedicate this beer to Avril, Chad?#BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Here's a fun fact. I've known every single song they've played so far… damn you again breakfast radio #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
PLAY SOME METALLICAAAAA @Nickelback #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
A heavy song I don't know…. THIS ISN'T METALLICA @Nickelback #JustSayin #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Its been 42mins and still no sign of Avril!#BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
They've stopped the show to shoot beer at the crowd. Forcing alcohol on us to try and like them. I'm not even joking#BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
BULLSHIT THEY'RE PLAYING METALLICAAAAA WTFFF????????? MASTER OF PUPPETS. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Seriously not even joking right now…. and now they're playing Pantera's Walk.
What The Hell Is Going On???#BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
And now they're playing Nickelback songs again… that was short lived! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Avril Update: 53mins later, still no Avril! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad's awkward Timmyyyy (South Park) jokes have returned… #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
The crowd erupted singing Someday… there's at least 6 people singing.
*I may have underestimated that head count #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
I catch myself nodding my head along to the songs… I then judge myself more than what I am for being here and stop #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad has just left the stage. I'm assuming to hook up with Avril or check twitter…#BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Here is Nickelback's 1 of 3 tolerable songs…. Animal! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Devil horns do NOT belong at a Nickelback concert! #JustSayin #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad has left again. Hey Chad… how about some Blink-182 next? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
67mins later… still no Avril #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad has now requested a cloud of pot smoke to fill the room. Interesting. #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Why does Chad keep screaming at us? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Annnd now the butchering of Summer of 69 begins… #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Nickelback now seem too drunk to even know what's going on… I only wish I was so lucky #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Crowd Karaoke is happening now. Hotel California sung by the entire audience. See even Nickelback don't want to sing #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Chad described their songs as shit… at least he's honest! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Here it is kids, the moment I wish I was deaf. Rockstar now murdering my ears #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
We have our first set of boobs people.
Boobs at a Nickelback concert is actually a thing now #BrownyGoesToNickelback— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Brad brings the band their beers and hides in the shadows… don't know why he'd hide #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
….Why haven't I left yet? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
NOOOOOOOO They've closed the bar!!!!!
My only chance for a beer now is if Chad hand delivers me one! #BrownyGoesToNickelback— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
90mins later and still no sign of Avril #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Figured You Out… its creepy when a drunk Chad Kroeger yells "I like your pants around your feet!" #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
There's an inflated condom floating around the mosh… enthralling #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Annnnd someone threw underwear on stage…. #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
And here's the song that started all this horror… How you remind me! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Look Planet Earth. If you all didn't like How You Remind Me so much than we wouldn't be here now… would we? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
These 5 words in my head, scream "Are we having fun yet?"
Not particularly! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
OMG. ITS ENDING!!!!!#BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
….still no sign of Avril! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Nickelback have left the stage. There's gotta be an encore… and I'm still sitting here waiting for it. Wtf? #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Hey Nickelback have returned with a cover… STOP RUINING EVERLONG GUYS!!! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
I can't complain… at least it's not a Nickelback song! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
1hr 50mins… still no Avril
I don't think she's coming guys! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Burn it to the Ground is the next encore. The 2nd of 3 less than tolerable songs #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Wow, this song is heavy as f*ck live. Can't help but think they'd be better if they played this over & over for 2hrs #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Nickelback just harmonized the saying "Balls Out"… cuuuuttteeee! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
IT'S OVER. ITS DONE. FREEDOM AT LAST!!!! #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
This concludes this evenings festivities of attending a Nickelback concert #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
I hope you all enjoyed the adventure that was #BrownyGoesToNickelback.
I didn't.
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
And now I hope no one recognises me as I leave this venue #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Patrons are saying how awesome the gig was. Any response other than torturous should not be used #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
Great. Now I'm locked out of the house because I didn't bring the key to Dad's new door. Awesome. #BrownyGoesToNickelback
— Browny (@brownypaul) May 20, 2015
If any of that sounds enthralling for you, details are below.
Browny @brownypaul
Nickelback –Â Feed The Machine East Coast Tour 2019
with Bad Wolves
Feb 13th – Brisbane Entertainment Centre, Bris
Feb 15th – Qudos Bank Arena, Sydney
Feb 16th – Rod Laver Arena, Melb
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