Eatons Hill Hotel, Brisbane
June 20th, 2016
Supported by Black Stone Cherry
We all know what kind of show we’re going to expect when we see the words Steel Panther next to each other, but nothing could prepare me for the onslaught of awesomeness that filled my life with pleasure last night in Brisbane when the LA quartet inappropriately invaded my life, had their way with me and didn’t bother to cuddle afterwards. Lets recap at the beginning.
We started off our night having a few beers in the courtyard of the very chilly Eatons Hill Hotel courtyard (which is in the middle of bum-fuck Idaho), but don’t ever let the distance deter you from attending gigs here, it would have to be one of the very few live music venues which can make any band sound amazing and fill up to capacity, which last night was a big indication of. Black Stone Cherry took to the stage shortly after 8pm and were met by what seemed like a 75% filled venue, which is uncalled for for an opening act usually but these guys were fantastic to watch. Combining their Southern American feel with a rocky twang, these guys held their own and were the perfect supporting act for the main event. The punters seemed to be grooving their way though the short set, however embraced the band like they were on the same level as the show’s headliners. A fun way to begin what was about to be an orgy of metal and adult fun.
At exactly 9:15pm the lights dimmed and Steel Panther made their way onto the stage amidst a roar of cheers from the full as fuck venue and wasted no time getting into their set with “Eyes of a Panther” from 2009’s Feel the Steel album, a pleasant surprise and indication that the whole night will be a combination of older songs and a few from their latest release. By the end of this I was mid-mosh pit and stuck in the surging crowd going back and forth furiously trying to stay upright as well as belting out the lyrics with front-man Michael Starr so close to us all. “Tomorrow Night” followed as the audience kept momentum going and continued to rock the fuck out for a further few minutes before things slowed right down for the ballad “Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)“, sang at the top of everyone’s lungs like a harmonious collective choir.
At the end of that we were treated to a few long minutes of hilarious band banter with the crowd, fans would know Panther come up with hilarious comedy routines where they rip into not only each other, but members of the audience as well with a lady sporting a broken leg becoming the target for one of the funniest joked of the night.
“Check out the girl up there with the broken leg, she’ll be easy to fuck, because she can’t run away” belted out guitarist Satchel with Michael Starr adding an additional joke about how good it was to see Nickelback fans attending their show.
During this time we finally saw our first set of boobs for the night, much to the appreciation of the band and audience members alike. I have to say, I’ll never get over the fact Steel Panther have brought back the feel and experience of an 80’s rock concert but for a new generation of fans to enjoy. The jokes moved onto Michael Starr‘s Mom’s vagina and how he came out of it, but Satchel came into it recently just as they went straight into the 2011 Balls Out classic “Just Like Tiger Woods“, an ode to a man who wanted to stick his club in as many holes as possible, the whole band performing without error and easily transitioning into the faster tempo track “Let Me Cum In” which had the crowed jumping in unison to keep up.
The jokes were back with Satchel trying his hand at an Australian female accent, emulating what would happen if a female Aussie fan made her way backstage and ended up blowing the entire band. To get the full effect of his story he proceeded to perform fellatio on his microphone and we heard every. singe. sound. inside his mouth. But still managed to laugh out loud across the room. The hunt was then on for an Asian member of the audience to join the band on stage and while they didn’t exactly get the nationality right, a larger, older women, manged to get on with the band to be their “Asian Hooker” for the song of the same name. She was encouraged to show her boobs to the crowd however stated “I’m wearing a sports bra” and couldn’t get them out. She left with a drum stick from Stix Zadinia and the band insinuated she (or another lady in the crowd) was a gold digger, the perfect transition into “Gold Digging Whore” complete with spelled out lyrics by everyone in attendance to wrap up the song.
At the end of the track, the band left the stage, music Satchel, who began one of the best guitar solos I have had the pleasure of witnessing. Playing classic riffs from Iron Maiden, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and many more, he even got behind the drum kit and played his own beat whilst performing. The icing on the cake was his metal rendition of the “Australian National Anthem” sang gloriously by the entire drunken venue. Australian pride at it’s absolute best (minus the support for Southern Cross Tattoos, Racist bigots and Tapout shirts).
The rest of the band returned and went straight into “Ten Strikes You’re Out” bringing back that up tempo moshing to get the crowd excited again. That didn’t last long as the acoustic guitars came out and two blonde girls were plucked from the audience and positioned centre stage on a high chair, ready to be serenaded in the only way Steel Panther know best, with the sing-along song “Girl from Oklahoma”. A younger fan (no older than 20ish) got front of stage with Michael Starr and gave her best to sing alongside the frontman much to the approval of the cheering fans. Whilst she was quite nervous to be on stage (and what woman wouldn’t) she managed to nail the high pitches asked of her. Speaking of high pitches, Bassist Lexxi Foxx still nailing his vocals with a little help from what appeared to be the majority of older blokes in attendance, much to my surprise. After this the call was made for as many girls to make their way on stage and we were back into the heavy with “17 Girls in a Row” performed while a staggering amount of women, flooded the stage trying to get selfies with the band and lining up from left to right.
“Gloryhole” and “Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin” managed to continue bringing that high energy needed to survive the last few songs as it seemed like the members all around me (still in the mosh) were starting to slow down with exhaustion as we slowly made our way towards the end of the evening. But that theory went out the window as the obvious crowd favourite “Death To All But Metal” began and everyone proceeded to lose their shit collectively. Bodies were flying everywhere and a “smash into each other” circle pit opened up lasting for the entirety of the song. The band all finished and left the stage quicker than a panther attacking a (insert jungle animal devoured by panthers here) but we weren’t ready to call it a night yet.
The “Panther, Panther Panther” chants grew louder and more aggressive until they all came back onto the stage for an encore, starting with “Community Property“, which the beginning was performed entirely acapella by everyone in attendance in a beautiful display of drunk, karaoke styled singing with the band joining in after the first chorus. Wrapping up the night was “Party All Day (Fuck All Night)” and everyone, including the band, put 100% into this send off. Crowd surfing tripled, the running into each other got faster and harder and everyone was lifting their bodies off the ground in some way shape or form. Towards the end of the song, my body had enough and wanted out so over the top of the crowd I went towards the awaiting security guards. This probably wasn’t the best idea as a fuck-wit, roided up “authority hungry” wanker of a security guard grabbed me by the neck and forcefully shoved me towards the side door stating that if I did that again he’d “End My Fuckin’ Life“… Not exactly the way you want to end a night you were enjoying so much but it really put a dampener of the whole evening. I wonder if anyone else who asked for help over the barrier encountered this type of treatment? Let me know! But that kind of forceful behaviour shouldn’t be called for at any gig. Its the first experience I have ever had with someone like that and hopefully the last.
Anyway, after watching the rest of the show from the back of the room the cheering surged louder than ever before when Steel Panther came front and centre to take a bow and thank their loyal fans for their attendance. It was a night that won’t be forgetting and I think I speak for everyone there when I say we’ll be counting down the days until the four piece make their triumphant return to our shores.
Here’s some more of the action I caught during the show.
WEDNESDAY 22ND JUNE – THEBARTON THEATRE ADELAIDE, SA
Tickets available from www.ticketmaster.com.au
THURSDAY 23RD JUNE – METRO CITY PERTH, WA
Tickets available from www.megatix.com.au
Until next time, rock the fuck out
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