The Top 7 Australian Metal Acts Eurovision Needs

It only seems like (some) Australians got excited for Eurovision this year because Guy Sebastian entered the competition as a Wild Card who ended up placing 5th overall. Not bad, but news out today says Australia will have another chance in 2016 to compete in the annual contest which will take place on May 10, 12 & 14 in Sweden.

I know I know, I can hear you thinking “Why would we be writing about a contest like this” which has seen the likes of Celine Dion and ABBA gain worldwide recognition and success following their stints, and to that I say to you Lordi.

Yes the 2016 Soundwave Festival attendees Lordi won the damn thing back in 2006 meaning that if Australia has an act so far fetched, in your face and/or over the top it could be another year where “Heavy Metal” reigns supreme and potentially put more of the Australian heavy music scene on show for their entire world therefore proving we are more than a country of reality show musicians and kangaroos. So we’ve decided to count down our Top 7 Heavy Metal Acts we think could have a shot at the title next year, starting off with:

#7 – Voyager

These progressive metallers from Perth have been going from strength to strength each year gaining more fans not only in our backyard but across the globe too. They recently picked up the “Best Heavy Act” at the WAM Awards (after 10 years) and are touring Europe next year, so technically they’ll sorta be in the neighbourhood around the time of Eurovison anyway and their epic/adventure sound isn’t foreign to some of the acts who have entered in previous years.

#6 – DARKC3LL

For a band to be dubbed as a modern day Kiss with a hint of Marilyn Manson‘s style in their music, it’s no surprise these guys are turning heads. Not only do they possess a powerful on-stage presence, rocking shredding and captivating gimmick of a face full of make-up, they are definitely contenders and could fit well amongst the rest of Eurovision‘s freaks…oops I mean line up.

#5 – Witchgrinder

This industrial thrash metal band from Melbourne definitely left their mark on us at Big Sound earlier this year with combination of heavy riffs and lusciously long hair (perfect for head-banging in unison) which could not only captivate the judges and audience but open up a possible million dollar endorsement deal where the boys could be the new face of Shampoo and hair care products!

#4 – King Parrot

When discussing what band best represents Aussie blokes and metal together, you can’t go past Melbourne’s King Parrot. In just 5 years they have taken the genre by storm and cemented their band amongst some of the greats in the industry. When watching these guys you’re overcome with feelings of excitement, disgust and uncontrollable rage (similar to how I feel when I’m forced to listen to ABBA) and considering they apparently did pretty when they appeared in the contest back in 1974. it’s time for the world to get a taste of Extreme Aussie Metal.

#3 – High Tension

Picture this, the sweet and innocently deceptive looking front-woman Karina Utomo rocking up on stage with her fellow band mates without saying a word. Everything is quiet as the band takes their positions on stage ready to show the world what they’ve got, unbeknownst to the audience they’re about to be blown away by her bellowing growls and bloody curdling screams throughout their performance. At the end they won’t know whether to cry, applaud or reveal to the person next to them they’ve shit themselves. To top it off, is Karina did the performance in a ballerina tutu, it’d really fuck with everyone’s heads before, during and after!

#2 – Ne Obliviscaris

Melbourne acts seem to be the front runners for possible contenders of the Australian Eurovision slot and we couldn’t go past the progressively brutal heavy guys from Ne Obliviscaris. Whether it’d be the sound these guys unleash on their audience, the incredible scream coming from front-man Xen or the fact they have violin in the band which at first glance will completely throw the uneducated viewer off, but rightfully deserves it’s place as soon as they get into it.

and the heavy metal band we think should represent Australia is…

#1 – Portal

Without a doubt, when thinking what band ticks all the boxes for their wacky looks, sound, stage presence and ability to capture the audience’s attention for a few minutes of brutality you can’t go past Brisbane’s Portal. When you look at previous metal winners Lordi, they stood out because they were FUCKING MONSTERS PLAYING METAL and it worked so well. Throw into the mix a horror themed band from Australia wearing executioners masks, fronted by a guy who looks like he’s wearing the cobination of a grandfather clock and a letterbox on his head while performing songs about “Cthulhu” it is an obvious win for everyone.

And there you have it, reckon we nailed it with our suggestions or think we’re completely off? Tell us who you think deserved a spot.

Until next time, rock the fuck out

Browny (@brownypaul)

About brownypaul (580 Articles)
Dad, Wall of Sound Owner/Editorial Manager, Triple M Brisbane Radio Guy, Obsessed Blink-182 Fan & Professional Beard Grower! Definitely NOT a Hipster!

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